


Second chance at Happiness

by pyxy_styx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Carla, Alive Kuchel, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Parent Grisha, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Married Sex, Mates, Mpreg, No Sex, No Smut, Slow To Update, So Married, kind of?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyxy_styx/pseuds/pyxy_styx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Levi are finally ready to start a family, but when tragedy strikes, they need to learn how to get through it together. But with Eren pushing everyone away what will happen? Will they finally get there second chance at happiness or will their dream of a family be crushed forever?</p><p>[On temporary hiatus]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, 'tis I Pyxy, here with my new fic. It's sad at first but soon gets into all the fluff and cuddling. This is an mpreg so if you don't like them or they make you uncomfortable then this is not the fic for you. but aside from that please enjoy!

“What?” Eren breathed out in quiet disbelief. He couldn’t understand, didn’t _want_ to understand, the words that were coming out of the doctor’s mouth. While Levi sat motionless beside his stunned husband who was currently squeezing his hand to the point of cutting off the circulation.

“I’m so very sorry Eren, I’m sure this must be very difficult for you to hear. I can’t imagine what you must be going through or feeling right now.” Dr. Nanaba, Eren’s OB/GYN was saying, a look of sympathy on her usually neutral looking face.

“A… a miscarriage? But how? The baby was fine the last time.” Eren choked out. His throat was clenching shut as hot tears were threatening to pour from his eyes.

“Remember when you were very ill a month ago towards the end of your first trimester. I fear that your body was too busy and weak to properly nourish the baby. Between your lack of both physical and emotional strength the baby suffered.” She explained.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God.” Eren whispered out franticly, bringing the hand that wasn’t holding Levi’s up to cover his mouth, hoping and failing, to try and muffle the sounds coming from himself.

“Hey,” Levi said taking his free hand and bringing it up to rest at the nape of Eren’s neck in a soothing gesture, “we’ll get through this. We’ll be okay.” though Levi had his doubts about that since he could feel the lump forming in his throat as he tried to keep it together for Eren’s sake.

“No we won’t and it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t had been so stupid as to do something like go outside in thirty degree weather without being properly dressed, I wouldn’t have gotten sick. And if I hadn’t had gotten sick then we wouldn’t have lost…” he chokes back a sob, he just can’t bring himself to finish that sentence. He gives up on trying to restrain his tears and they are flowing freely down his cheeks, accumulating on his chin before falling into his jean clad lap, leaning his head onto Levi’s shoulder. Levi applied pressure to his hold on Eren’s nape, effectively calming him. Eren takes in a shuddering breath, but visibly relaxes.

“Better?” Levi asked, his voice quiet. Eren nodded, but did nothing else.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, but we,” Nanaba pauses to take a deep breath, “but we need to remove the baby now.”

And just like that Eren’s composure is out the door and he’s letting out loud heart wrenching sobs, chanting ‘this can’t be happening’ over and over again between his desperate wails. The baby was everything the young couple had been wanting. They had talked endlessly about it. If they wanted one. If they felt they were ready for one. Would they be able to take care it properly. They had gone over every excruciatingly small detail and decided that they were ready. And when they had gotten the wonderful news that they were hoping for, that they were expecting, the two were overjoyed. And now that was being stolen away because Eren had done something irresponsible, and he blamed himself. He hated himself, it was all his fault.

Levi was failing miserably in trying to comfort him mate, he didn’t know what to do. What could he possibly do to console Eren about the loss of their child, when he himself was ready to break down in despair? He decided ultimately, that there was nothing that would make a difference. At least not right now, so he let him cry. All he could do was be there to support him, be his pillar of strength in this time of mourning.

The couple went through the motions, being directed by the doctor like old, disjointed, wooden puppets on thin wiry strings. They were led into the room for the “procedure”, or rather Eren was. Levi was forced to stay in a different room, biting on his nails in a nervous habit that he hadn’t had a reason to start up again in years. When Eren came back out he looked dead to Levi. He was pale and there was a thin coat of perspiration on him. He was shivering slightly, he looked as if he had just witnessed something that would scar him for the rest of his life, which it probably would. Levi can’t even imagine what Eren had seen that transpired behind those white double doors.

They went home, and as soon as Eren was through the front door of their small, yet comfortable home, he was running up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry his frazzled body, past the nursery that they had begun setting up, and into his and Levi’s shared bedroom. He collapsed unto the bed to resume his crying from earlier clutching one of the many throw pillows to his chest.

Levi followed behind him at a much slower pace, still being in shock, his shock bordering on being paralyzed. He drug his feet up the stairs toward the direction of the bedroom, however, he made a detour into the nursery. He made his way to the rocking chair by the bay window. He looked around the room that they had started to decorate. The only thing he and Eren had accomplished in the room so far was painting. Three out of the four walls were covered in light pastel colors, one wall in light purple, one in a light green, and the other yellow. They were the most gender neutral colors they could think of. They didn’t want to know what the baby was, not even when they would be able to see after it was developed enough to tell but they didn’t want the walls to be white so this was the solution they came up with. The last wall was being reserved for a mural that Eren was working on, though he refused to tell Levi what it was supposed to be. There were only rough sketches of abstract lines and shapes that Levi could not even begin to distinguish. There was no other furniture beside the rocking chair and a few pillows in the window that was just big enough for one person to sit there.

Levi grabbed one of said pillows, clutching it to his chest as he let all the pent up sadness and grief out, in quiet tears. Even when he was in an immense amount of pain, whether it was physical or emotional, he could never express it the way he wanted to. All Levi wanted in that moment was to be able to scream and shout and throw a fit in rage and pain and grief, but he couldn’t, all he could do was suffer silently in the rocking chair that would not have he or Eren sitting in it with a baby in their arms at the end of a nine month journey.

~

“Eren please talk to me.”

“NO! Just go away you don’t understand!” Eren was kneeling on the bed, throwing various objects at Levi as he tried to get closer to his love.

“Eren just calm down, okay? Let’s just-” Levi was cut off by a plastic cup that was on the bedside table being thrown at his head. He quickly dodged it and took four hurried steps towards the bed, grabbing Eren by his arms as he thrashed around helplessly.

“No! Shut up! Get off! Don’t touch me!” Eren cried as he struggled to get away from Levi who was wrestling him to the bed. It was a lost cause considering how much stronger Levi was than him, and he was soon pinned down as Levi sat on his stomach while holding his arms down by his sides, and though Eren tried to buck him off, he was unsuccessful.

“There, see? Just calm down okay? It’s okay. Just breathe.” The fight eventually drained out of Eren, and he was left feeling very tired.

Once Levi sensed that Eren was calm enough for him to let go he slowly released Eren, sitting up straight and moving to sit in Eren’s lap as he pulled the latter into an upright position. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, nuzzling him under his chin as he breathed out in a long sigh.

“We need to talk.” Levi said, his voice close to a whisper.

“About what?” Was Eren’s equally quiet response.

“I don’t know. It seems like we don’t speak unless we need to and that’s not what I want, but then I try and talk, even something as simple as saying ‘good morning’ and you turn away from me. You won’t let me hold you when you cry anymore. Eren you won’t even sleep in the same bed as me. You get into bed then stay up until I fall asleep, before you ever so quietly slip out of bed and make your way downstairs to the couch where you cry yourself to sleep. And when I ask you about it in the morning you say that you couldn’t sleep so you watched TV, and not once in the past three months have you ever done that when I followed behind you and listened to you cry. Every. Single. Night. Eren, for the past three months, and it’s killing me because I don’t know what more I can do aside from offer to be there for you, to try and help you through this, but then you push me away again. I would crawl through the depths of hell for you to make you happy, and you refuse to let me do something as simple as sit with you while you mourn. Do you remember the vows we made? When we said for better or for worse? This is worse, and while I am trying, I really am, you are shooting me down at every turn and I don’t know what to say or do to make it better. I just don’t know, so why don’t you tell me what we should be talking about?” After Levi was done talking, he and Eren sat in a heavy silence, Levi already having said his part and didn’t feel the need to add to it, and Eren not knowing what he should say in response to Levi pouring his heart out like that. The two of them let the quiet of their room stretch on as long as the other dared let it, but Eren soon found it stifling, so he said what was on his mind for the first time what seemed like forever.

“I’ve… I’ve felt like I’m alone, like there’s no one who understands-”

“Bullshit.” Levi said pushing away from Eren’s chest to look him in the eyes as he spoke. “That is such fucking bullshit and you know it. I’ve been here from the beginning. You’re friends have tried to be there for you just as much as I have, and you really want to say that you’re alone, as if you’re the only one who suffered. I hurt just as much as you, I lost something in this too you know? And for you to sit there and pretend that I haven’t, like… like some ignorant and naïve child, throwing this fucking tantrum. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking kidding me right now Eren?”

All Eren was capable of doing was gaping, his mouth opening and closing like a landed fish. He didn’t know what he could say, because as it were, Levi was right. What he had said, it was a terrible excuse, a terrible reason for his behavior over the past few months. The truth was he was just angry, at himself mostly, because if it weren’t for him being so stupid their baby would still be alive, he would be five almost six months along now instead of where he was right now. So he pushed everyone who cared about him, everyone who loved him away and then told himself he was alone. He then proceeded to hide behind that reason so he could go on wallowing in self-pity and continue to act as if the world was coming to an end, and figured that the people around him would still be there when he felt like growing up and accepting the things that had happened and not necessarily move on, but start healing at the very least.

“What’s the real reason Eren?” Levi murmured, holding one of Eren’s cheeks in his hand, while the other gently caressed the nape of Eren’s neck.

“It was all my fault.” Eren sobbed. “If I was more careful, if I wasn’t so rash, if I wasn’t so _me_ none of this would have happened. I was so stupid. Who goes outside when it’s freezing, in shorts and a tee shirt? And while I was pregnant no less. And I was angry with myself and I blamed myself, and I just wanted to be left alone because I didn’t deserve anyone’s kindness. I deserved to feel that way because everything was my fault.”

Levi sighed, there wasn’t much he could say at this point to try and change Eren’s mind. “Eren it wasn’t your fault. You were outside for all of two minutes. I did that all the time and never once have I gotten sick, you did that all the time and never got sick. You had no way of knowing and you throwing yourself into a dark pit of self-loathing over it is ridiculous. This weak-willed and weak-minded person is not the one that I married. This isn’t you, not any of this right now is you. Where is my strong, determined brat, huh?”

“But-”

“Enough already Eren. Please? I hate seeing you like this, I hate hearing these words out your mouth, and I especially hate the fact that you’ve been feeling like this for so long and didn’t bother to tell anyone or let anyone in. I know you’re a stubborn person, but this is not acceptable, honestly I would call it masochism. You must enjoy feeling like a piece of shit all day every day to sit with that kind of pain just festering in you.”

“It was my fault though. I just… I don’t know what to do? How are you not just as bad as I am?” Eren searched Levi’s face, desperation clouding the air around them.

“Because I didn’t blame myself for what happened. I could, saying that if only I hadn’t had you take the trash out then you wouldn’t have gone outside and gotten sick, but the fact of the matter is that it isn’t anyone’s fault. We could play the blame game sure, if it wasn’t for Hanji and their ridiculous idea to throw a party, if it wasn’t for everyone showing up with too much there wouldn’t have been so much trash, or if I had just decided to take the trash out myself or have someone else do it, we could go on and on but that won’t change what happened and it won’t make you feel any better if you do point the blame at someone. You got sick Eren. It’s not like you did something careless like getting drunk and hurt yourself somehow or whatever. You can’t help the fact that you got sick, no one can. Please, just… just let this go okay? Stop blaming yourself, please, or at least try.” Levi pleaded, hoping beyond hope that this would be the turning point for Eren. That now, he would start to open up again, to the healing process that they both so desperately needed to go through. Now they could heal together.

~

Levi came up behind Eren, who was sitting on the floor in front of the mural he was working on. He had finally started to add color, it was still abstract and he still couldn’t tell what it was, but now he would soon find out. Hopefully.

“It’s time for lunch, come eat.” Eren paused, tilting his head back to look up at Levi.

“What did you make?” Levi leaned down, pressing a light kiss to Eren’s lips before responding with, “Clam chowder, old fashioned, not New England, just like you like it.”

“Mmm, with club crackers?” Eren looked hopefully at Levi.

“There’s no other way.” Levi leaned down again, placing another gentle kiss to Eren’s lips.

“Alright, just let me put this stuff away, and wash my hands.” Levi left after that, making his way back down the stairs to the kitchen. He filled two bowls with the chowder and moved them to the island that also doubles as a bar occasionally. He went to the pantry, grabbed the sleeve of crackers, and walked back to the island. He sat at one of the bar stools and waited… and waited… and waited.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Levi muttered to himself, putting the bowls in the microwave then going upstairs. He passed the nursery, peeking his head in momentarily to see if Eren was there, after confirming he wasn’t Levi continued to the bedroom. But Eren wasn’t there either, Levi was about to leave when he heard a soft snore from the master bathroom. Levi walked in only to stop dead in his tracks at the… cutest sight he had ever seen. Eren was curled up, covered in paint, sleeping in the tub, with his thumb in his mouth. He stifled the chuckle that wanted to make its way out of his mouth and kneeled down next to the sleeping figure.

“Time to get up Eren. Come on love, you need to eat.”

Eren mumbled something incoherent and tried to turn over but couldn’t, seeing as how the tub was too small. He quickly became uncomfortable, and rather than stay as he was opted to open his eyes. He slowly blinked them open and was met with an up close and personal view of Levi’s face. He jolted back, only to slam his head on the wall.

“Ow, fuck! Ow, my neck.” Eren sat up, rubbing the back of his neck and head.

“Congratulations stupid. Can I ask how you fell asleep in the tub?” Levi’s tone was mocking, his expression smug.

“Umm… I don’t know? I think I was going to take a quick shower, but then I got tired and laid down. Why I did it in here instead of in bed is… I don’t know.”

“Well come on, I made chowder, remember? Shower, quickly, come downstairs. I’ll heat the food up.” Levi stood, and left Eren to his own devices.

Eren turned the shower on stepping into the flow of the shower head. He took a quick three minute combat shower before turning the water off. He dried quickly as he made his way to his dresser. He put on a pair of loose fitting black sweatpants, and a dark green tee shirt, and left the room to go downstairs. He spotted Levi at the island, sitting in one of the bar stools. He sat next to him, pulling his bowl closer. He blew on the spoon and stuck the spoon in his mouth, though he regretted it instantly when he discovered that it wasn’t cool enough, but the rich and creamy texture and the refined taste made it worth it.

“Oh wow, that’s amazing. You get better every time you make this.” Eren commented after another spoonful. Levi hummed his acknowledgement of the compliment.

The two were just about done when Eren stopped and stared down into his bowl, contemplating how he wanted to phrase his question. “Do you think we can start trying again?” Levi looked over at him, his face slightly scrunched in confusion.

“Try for what?”

“I love you but you’re an idiot.” Eren said with a small chuckle and shake of his head, but his dread came back soon enough.

“A baby Levi, do you think we can start trying again?” his voice was quiet and small with apprehension.

“Oh…” Levi got up to stand behind Eren, wrapping his arms around Eren’s waist and resting his chin on the brunette’s shoulder. “We can start trying any time you want to.”

“Really?” Eren asked, turning just enough to be able to see Levi out of the corner of his eye.

“Sure. I was waiting for you to tell me you were ready.” Eren turned completely in Levi’s arms, so he could now rest his own hands on Levi’s hips.

“Thank you.” Eren nuzzled his face into the crook of Levi’s neck.

“For what?”

“I didn’t think you would want to try again this soon.”

“Eren, it’s been six months.” Levi reminded, he was confused as to why Eren thought he wouldn’t want to start trying for another baby. Because as he said it had been six months since they lost the first one. Eren was in much better health, both mentally and emotionally. They had started sharing a bed again and aside from exchanging sweet and, in Levi’s mind, innocent kisses they had refrained from any physical contact. Nothing too intimate, otherwise Eren would push Levi away. So for him to suggest this means that he’s given it quite a bit a thought.

“Still thank you.” Eren said, nuzzling further into Levi’s neck before placing a soft kiss on the junction of his neck and shoulder. He continued to place open mouthed kisses up Levi’s neck and jaw-line, until he places a soft and tender kiss on Levi’s lips. The kiss soon became heated, Levi licking and nipping Eren’s bottom lip. The heat searing a path down his spine in return. Eren stands and Levi runs his hands down Eren’s body until they reach the back of his thighs. Levi lifted, Eren instinctually wrapping his legs around the raven’s waist.

Levi walked up the stairs, Eren kissing up and down his neck and shoulder the whole way. When they reached their bedroom Levi set Eren down, going over to the night stand, pulling his shirt off along the way. He returned to Eren with a bottle of lube. He set it down pushing Eren onto his back, Levi rested his hands on Eren’s hips as he leaned over him. Eren brought both hands up, interlacing them behind Levi’s neck and brining him down for a deep kiss. Levi pulled away slightly, barely an inch of space between their lips.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Levi whispered, his eyes flicked around Eren’s face, searching for any hesitance or discomfort. If there was, then no matter how much he wanted this, he would stop Eren from continuing. But there was no hesitation from Eren. He nodded, an “I’m sure.” escaping his slightly parted lips.

“Okay.” Levi said in a hushed tone, as if it were a secret meant only for the two of them. Levi closed the small distance them, taking Eren to a blissed out paradise which would hopefully end in his and Eren’s wish of one day having a family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE!

So hello, everyone. I apologize for the long wait, but unfortunately I will be going on hiatus. I just recently got out of a two week stay in the hospital, and the only reason I'm even home right now is because my doctors determined that there was nothing else they could do for me there (nice right?). I have been unable to write due to being heavily medicated, which I still am and can't concentrate long enough to get a chapter out. Only made worse by the writer's block that I have seemed to have developed. There are other more personal reasons for the hiatus as well, but I don't think we need to read my sob story, though if you have questions feel free to ask. I don't know when I'll be back so I wont even bother giving you an estimate, just not any time soon I suspect. I really do hate to have to do this, but I figured everyone deserved to know that I wont be posting any time soon, for any of my currently ongoing fics, that includes, _Catch Me if You Can_  and _The Meaning of Life_. If I manage to post something for either of my shorter fics being, _Second Chance at Happiness_ or _Catch Me if You Can_ , that doesn't mean the hiatus for any of my fics is over, since I'm already mostly finished for the second chapter of SCaH and the sixth chapter of CMiYC. I hope that you guys understand and will be patient with me. 

Pyxy out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I updated! I know it's been 8ever since I last posted a chapter for this, which I'm very sorry for, like very very sorry for, and then on top of that it's half as long, I'm not completely happy with how this turned out, and I just... *long sigh* fail...
> 
> But have no fear, this will not be abandoned, and hopefully my writer's block for this will go soon, so I can have decent sized chapters for this as well. Anyway, go on and read.

“Oh my God, ohmygod… _ohmygod!_ ” Eren shouted, glad that Levi was out for the moment with how loud he was. Goodness knows that Levi would have come running, getting himself worked up only for him to be cranky later after nothing was wrong. It might have been funny had Eren not been having a crisis himself right then.

There was a plus on the little home pregnancy test he had taken… he was pregnant again. He was fucking pregnant again. After three months of trying he was pregnant. While three months might not seem like a lot when referring to woman’s pregnancies since they were really only fertile for about a week once a month men were all the time, but it was usually harder for men to become pregnant because of this fact because they are less fertile. But it didn’t matter anymore because he had what he wanted. He was delighted and thrilled and terrified and panicking and hyperventilating and holy shit he was pregnant. _‘It’s a good thing I’m was already sitting’_ Eren thought numbly otherwise he most certainly would have fallen, or passed out, that as it were was still a probability of course because Eren was still hyperventilating. He was torn between feeling ecstatic and petrified. He was finally going to be a parent but there was that irrational part of him that just _knew_ that he was going to lose this baby as well. When Levi came home and found him crying on the bathroom floor Eren still wasn’t quite sure what kind of tears he was shedding.

Levi helped him onto his feet and to their bed shushing him and comforting him the whole way.

“Eren, my love, my darling, my angel, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Eren?” Levi didn’t know what to do. Eren wouldn’t talk to him, just kept crying. Every time he would open his mouth looking like he was about to try to say something he would choke on them and start crying anew. All Levi could do was attempt to calm Eren down. So Levi muttered a steady stream of _‘It’s okay’_ and _‘Everything is alright’_ into Eren’s ear as they gently rocked back and forth.

Levi was concerned that something terrible had happened. Maybe an accident. Were their parents okay? Were their friends all accounted for? Levi was trying to remember the last time he had spoken to everyone, they all seemed to be healthy then. No broken bones, or missing limbs, or _anything_. If someone had died though he would have been notified, right? He would have been the first person notified if his parents, were injured or dead, so he crossed them off the list. If something were wrong with any of his friends he wouldn’t have found out until later which means that Eren wouldn’t have known until he knew, so he crossed them off the list as well. Which really only left Eren’s side of things. Maybe his parents? Or his large group of rowdy friends?

“Levi.” Eren whispered, finally calming his hysterical wailing down to the occasional sniffle, he had to say it now before he inevitably started wailing again.

“Hmm?” Eren was soothed by the sound of Levi’s steady heartbeat, Levi stood in front of him cradling Eren’s head to his chest. Eren brought his hands up to grasp tightly to the back of Levi’s shirt, crumpling the crisp fabric in his fists tightly, undoubtedly wrinkling it beyond belief.

Eren took a deep steadying breath, making sure he wouldn’t burst into tears again yet. “I’m pregnant.” His voice was hoarse from all his crying but the words he had spoken were clear.

Levi stiffened for a moment before leaned back looking down at Eren, bringing up his hands to rest on either side of Eren’s. Eren watched as Levi’s face turned from confused to one of fragile hope to astonishment then to one of pure joy, Eren was sure it was similar to the face that he made when he first found out. “Really?” Levi’s voice was quiet, reverent almost and Eren started tearing up again.

“I mean, we should go to Nanaba just to be sure, but that’s what the home test said. I took four just to be safe, but… yeah.” Eren’s face split into a wide grin and Levi bent slightly to give Eren one of the most joy filled kisses he’s ever received from the man. Before Eren knew what was happening he was lifted off the bed, Levi’s arms under his legs, his hands on Eren’s thighs gripping behind his knees. Eren helped take some of the weight off Levi’s arms by wrapping his legs around Levi’s waist, steadying himself by holding Levi’s face between his hands looking down into his eyes. Levi spun them in a few small circles and they laughed, and even when Levi stopped they were still wearing the biggest smiles they had ever had on their faces.

Eren brought his face down to Levi’s continuing their kiss from earlier but neither one could stop the smiling so they just smiled against one another’s mouths. Eren just wrapping his arms around Levi’s shoulders, bringing his face down into the crook of the other’s neck. “We’re going to be parents Levi.” It was whispered into Levi’s ear, as if the whole thing was some huge secret between just the two of them, though Eren guesses that for the time being it was.

“God, we’re going to be parents.” Levi’s voice was full of wonder and Eren wanted to start crying again.

~

The warm sunlight streaked through the sheer curtains covering the windows and onto the bed. Levi had been awake for some time now, just watching Eren dream peacefully. When Levi had first awoken he had wanted to make Eren breakfast in bed, but with the way they were laying, with Eren’s legs twining with Levi’s own and Eren’s arm draped over Levi’s waist, every time Levi went to move Eren would just tighten his hold, refusing to let go. So Levi opted to watch over his love and wonder what the future held.

He was most certain it would be difficult, especially considering everything that had transpired over the past several months. Eren had been very hard to be around and it was all Levi could do to try and help in any way possible, however that was damn near unmanageable with how Eren had pushed Levi away at every turn. Levi understood Eren was grieving, he had as well after all, but what Eren had done was create a chasm in between them for a little more than half a year. It had been one of the most stressful times of his life.

It had been hard to assuage Eren of his fears when Levi’s own were crowding in around him. Drowning out the rational part of his mind that told him everything would be fine, that nothing would go wrong with this pregnancy. Eren getting sick was unforeseeable, but things would go better this time around, Levi was positive of that. Levi had always struggled with being positive with anything. He had suffered from depression for the majority of his life and while he had mellowed out on that front, so to speak, losing the baby had plunged him right back under the crushing force of his mind.

It was a constant battle to stay strong for Eren, telling him that everything would go well, but not believing in his own words would do no one any good. And if Eren picked up on Levi’s uncertainty then he would fret unnecessarily because while Levi whole-heartedly believed that this baby would be healthy and not be lost like the last, that irrational part, the part that whispered menacingly in his ear told him otherwise. Assured him that they would once again lose the one thing they wanted most, and that was to start a family. It was stupid and silly, Levi knew, but what good did knowing something was ridiculous when it was a fear? A very real fear? Nothing, is what it did. Absolutely nothing.

Levi was brought out of his rapidly darkening thoughts as Eren stirred in his arms. He glanced down to see Eren’s lashes fluttering briefly before those brilliant eyes were revealed. Eren smiled brightly at Levi and his breath hitched in his throat as a stray beam of sunlight caught those gorgeous irises and they sparkled like the ocean reflecting the sun. Levi swore he wasn’t so cheesy and sappy before he got married to Eren, but whatever, Eren’s eyes were gorgeous and no one could deny that.

“Good morning my love. How did you sleep?” Levi whispered, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful silence.

“Good morning my darling husband. I slept very well. How long have you been up?” Levi thinks about it for a moment, not being quite sure of exactly how long he’s been awake.

“Hmm, I don’t know, more than half an hour for sure though.” Levi commented idly.

“You should have woke me up, then we could have gone out.” Eren said, swatting Levi lightly on the arm in reprimand.

“We can still go out if you want to, it’s no issue. I just wanted you to sleep a little longer, I remember how tired you were la…  I mean, you have class tomorrow and you’ve been really tired lately, so I just figured that I would let you sleep a little more while you still could.” Levi rambled, not wanting to dwell on the huge mistake he almost made. As he glanced down at Eren’s face he could see it tightening up around his eyes and mouth even though he still smiled if a little rigidly, but he didn’t burst into tears like he would have a few months ago at the mention of the last baby. Levi held Eren a little tighter in a silent apology and show of comfort.

“Yeah, let me get ready, then we can go get pancakes at that little diner a few blocks down.” Eren’s voice was strained, Levi could tell he was trying to put a brave face on and was only having minimal success with it, but Levi wasn’t going to point it out either. Instead letting Eren get up and make his way to the bathroom. Eren started to pick out clothes, but stopped abruptly, covering his mouth as he rushed to the bathroom. When Levi heard the sounds of retching he sighed, recognizing the sounds of morning sickness, getting out of bed to go into the kitchen. He grabbed a tray that they used when they ate in bed, getting two cups out of the cupboard, filling one with orange juice and the other with water. He put two pieces of bread in the toaster, waiting until they were perfectly toasted to Eren’s tastes. Adding a light spread of butter and sprinkling a little bit of sugar on top. He took the tray back into their bedroom setting it on Eren’s night stand.

Levi went into the bathroom, to find Eren resting his forehead on the edge on the toilet seat. Levi briefly rubbed Eren’s back, eventually helping him stand up. Holding onto him with one arm as he closed the toilet lid and flushed the toilet, before helping Eren back to bed.

Eren sees the tray as they make their way back to the bed and gets a little glassy-eyed as he thanks Levi, though Levi doesn’t comment on it. He knows that Eren’s emotions are going to be all over the place, but especially during the first trimester. Even if Levi and Eren hadn’t already gone through this once before, Levi had still read almost every book he could get his hands on about what people go through during pregnancy. Although there are some differences between male and female pregnancies, this isn’t one of them.

Levi gets Eren settled against the pillows before he gives Eren his glass of water to rinse the taste of sickness out of his mouth then the only light food Levi found Eren can stand after a bout of morning sickness. Eren tries very hard to apologize about them not being able to go out, but Levi quickly silences him with a gentle kiss and a reassurance that they’ll go out later, he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm thinking of baby names, but I also want your input so throw me some suggestions. Or if you want it to be a girl or boy. (p.s. just because you suggest it doesn't necessarily mean that I will use any of the suggestions.)
> 
> Also, if any of you are curious about my hiatus or the long break for this story, then go read my end notes for the last chapter of The Meaning of Life, it explains everything... for the most part anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay so here's my new fic, it will range between five and ten chapters so much shorter than TMoL since I still can't even see an end in sight for that, but oh well. Anyway, as the tag says this will be slow to update maybe once every two or three weeks, but I've decided it best not to make any promises. I don't have too much to say so I guess that's it. I really hope you guys like this.  
> Pyxy out!


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